


Roadside Shrinks

by WolfenM



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Introspection, Iron Man 1, Iron Man 2, Light Angst, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, POV Pepper Potts, POV Third Person, POV Tony, POV Tony Stark, Pepper Feels, Pepper-centric, Pepperony - Freeform, Post-Iron Man 2, Protective Jarvis, Protective Pepper, Protective Rhodey, Rhodey Feels, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Snarky Jarvis, Tony Angst, Tony Being Tony, Tony Feels, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfenM/pseuds/WolfenM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going home is more complicated than you would think, especially if Rhodey and Natalie are each playing shrink-matchmakers along the way. And where is home now, anyway? And will it be the bed or the couch for Tony? And just who does the War Machine Suit belong to? A tag to Iron Man 2, filling the gap of what happened right after Rhodey left the rooftop, through the night and to a few weeks later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roadside Shrinks

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: _Iron Man_ (film) and, most especially, _Iron Man 2_. 
> 
> Notes: This fic is unrelated to my other Movieverse!Iron Man tags, "Aftermath" and "Homecoming". It was originally posted at deviantART May 2010 as "Belongings".
> 
> TTTTTT = section following is from Tony's POV  
> PPPPPP = section following is from Pepper's POV
> 
> DISCLAIMER:Iron Man, Tony Stark, Virginia "Pepper" Potts, James/Jim Rhodes/Rhodey, Harry "Happy" Hogan, Natalie Rushman/Natasha Romanoff, Justin Hammer, You, Dummy, and Obadiah Stane all © Marvel Entertainment, Inc. "The Imperial March" © Lucasfilm/John Williams. This is not a licenced story, and no profit is being made from it by the author.

TTTTTT  
Tony Stark watched James Rhodes fly off with his suit for the second time in just a few days. It wasn't any easier to watch this time than last, especially considering the fact that this time he didn't want Rhodey to take the damn thing! Well, okay, he didn't _want_ Rhodey to take it the first time either, but Fury was right, Tony had _let_ him, had even prompted him to. But that was back when Tony had thought he was dying and someone needed to pick things up where he was going to leave off, like it or not.  
  
That was the real reason Tony had been a total asshat at his birthday, so that Rhodey would feel justified in taking the suit without Tony having to tell him — and the world — just how badly off he really was. After all, with the stink Tony had put up about the government trying to take the suit, he couldn't just let them take it — eyebrows would have been raised, and so would suspicions. Plus that would have set a bad precedent; soon the government would have started taking other things from Stark Enterprises, and then from other companies altogether. Giving Rhodey that window of opportunity had been a one-time deal, so that _Rhodey_ would have the suit. Tony was pretty confident the government wouldn't have been able to copy it, and he hadn't been wrong. The only man in the world who had a true understanding of the tech had been the son of the man who had co-created the tech with Tony's own father, and now both of the Vankos were dead — along with his father, Howard.  
  
And now Tony _wasn't_ dead or dying, and so his reason for letting Rhodey have it was null and void. Hell, if he had known just how badly Rhodey would let the Mark II get mutilated, with all the extra, clunky (and poorly manufactured) hardware Rhodey had let Hammer stick onto it, Tony probably wouldn't have let the man take it in the first place! As it was, while he had intended for Rhodey to take it at the party, he hadn't really liked letting him do it, and had half hoped the man would fail the attempt.  
  
But ... Rhodey _hadn't_ failed. And Tony had meant it when he'd said that Rhodey had kicked ass against Vanko and the drones. And Tony was glad Rhodey was alive, was okay — _more_ than glad. James Rhodes was Tony Stark's best friend; maybe this new War Machine was Iron Man's.  
  
Tony felt his fingers move, and realised that Pepper was still holding his hand. Something else occurred to him: maybe it would put Pepper more at ease with the whole  "risking his life" thing if she knew Rhodey had his back.  
  
Speaking of which ....  
  
"How you gonna resign? I don't accept," he only half-teased. The thought of her being gone from his life scared him easily as much as his nearly dying seemed to scare her. He kissed her, wondering if that kiss would glue her to him for good, regardless of whether she stayed with Stark Enterprises or not, or if it was the first step to losing her entirely, as one of the few things Tony Stark had never been accused of was being good at relationships.  
  
Well, nearly dying had taught him one thing: to cherish the present, because it might be all you got. So he did his best to make sure they both enjoyed every moment of this (and let's face it, Tony had plenty of experience in the art of kissing). And he did enjoy it — oh boy, did he — and she certainly seemed to, or so he hoped. When it was over, he resolved to make a time machine next, so he could revisit this night — well, this _part_ of it, anyway — as often as he wished. Hey, he'd created a whole new freakin' element, hadn't he? Making a time machine should be a cinch!  
  
It was keeping Pepper at his side _henceforth_ that he was worried about ....  
  
"So, um ..." he began intelligently when they finally came up for air. Um, indeed. What now? He had no idea, Earthly or otherwise!  
  
"I guess I should call Happy, have him pick me up — and before you suggest it, no, I'm not flying back with you." And just like that, the flustered and scared damsel was replaced by _Executive Assistant!Pepper_. "Do you want to meet at my place later, after JARVIS gets you out of that tin can, or just wait until tomorrow?"  
  
Tony blinked. Well, _that_ was a bit of a mood-killer, wasn't it? Much as he might like to, it wasn't like he could strip-tease his way out of the suit.  
  
"Why not meet at my place?" he asked.  
  
"And sleep where, precisely, now that you've ... _redecorated_?"  
  
Ah, right. "I'm thinking of renaming the place 'Casa del Swiss Cheese'."  
  
She grinned. "Well, you can crash on my couch, if you want a place to stay that's not quite so ... _naturally_ air-conditioned."  
  
"Couch?" he asked, stomach sinking.  
  
"As I understand it, that's the traditional bed for boyfriends that are in the doghouse for keeping things from their girlfriends like, oh, I don't know, the fact that they're _dying_ ...."  
  
Of course Tony latched onto one key word. "Girlfriend?" he asked, grinning.  
  
"I think you're missing the true sentiment of that sentence."  
  
"But you _weren't_ my girlfriend during the party!" He swallowed hard at the dark look she gave him, and backpedaled. "I mean, not that I didn't _want_ you to be — I did — I _do_! .... _Are_ you?"  
  
"I'm practically your _wife!_ I think all the years of having cleaned up after you should have entitled me to know you were sick! Are you really better?" she added, her voice growing small.  
  
"Yes. And getting better every minute. And you're right, you deserved to know. I just didn't want to worry you if I didn't have to, and I was still working on a cure — which I found!"  
  
"And so if I hadn't overheard your conversation with Natalie, you never would have told me."  
  
"Well ... I mean ... there wouldn't have been anything to tell ...."  
  
"And that kind of thinking is exactly why you're sleeping on the couch. You want to be with me, it's full disclosure from now on! Why did you tell _her_ , anyway?"  
  
"What, Natalie? I didn't tell her!"  
  
"But she—"  
  
"Was a SHIELD plant!"  
  
The silence of her shock only made the explosion after that much worse.  "... _She was a_ secret agent _, and you didn't tell me_ that _, either?!_ "  
  
She shoved him, and he could have sworn he actually moved a little despite the heaviness of the suit.  
  
"Well, maybe if you'd let me tell you I was _dying_ back when I came to myyyy _your_ office, I might have gotten around to telling you about her, too! As it was, I only just found out the day before I came to see you!"  
  
He saw Pepper's face screw up tight just before she turned away, and a dozen alarm klaxons sounded a red alert in his head. "Aw, god, Pepper, I ... I'm sorry," he told her softly, turning her and wrapping his arms around her as she sniffled into his chestplate. He wished he could rest his cheek in her hair, but his boots made him stand too much taller than her even with her in her stillettos. He'd never wanted out of the suit so badly before. "That came out all wrong. I don't blame you for not wanting to talk to me, after how I acted at my birthday party."  
  
And he was going to tell her about how that had all been a trick anyway, he really was, but Happy had the world's worst timing, calling Pepper just then.  
  
"Yes, I'm okay — so are Tony and Rhodey .... Actually, I don't quite know where I'm at," she admitted to the phone, looking around. "Somewhere on Carbonell Boulevard ...."  
  
"13405 South Carbonell, to be precise," JARVIS clarified. _Good ol' GPS_. Tony reluctantly relayed the information to Pepper, who recited it to Happy.  
  
"Call me when you get here," Pepper commanded Hogan. "I'll stay with Tony on the roof until you do."  
  
Tony half-hoped it took Happy a long time to get there.  
  
It didn't, of course, and in the meantime, when Pepper had put her arms around him again, Tony hadn't had the heart to spoil the moment with excuses for his recent behavior, didn't want to remind her that she had anything to be angry about.  They just looked out on the ruins of the Expo, Tony thinking that there was an odd beauty in it. Maybe because the danger was past, and the people he loved — Pepper, Rhodey, Happy — were safe. Now, he would play the part of a phoenix again, rebuilding the Expo out of its own ashes, along with his reputation — and, most importantly, his relationships with those he loved.  
  
"Tony, it's time for me to go," Pepper chided him gently when she got off the phone with Happy for the second time, Tony not budging an inch when she tried to pull away.  
  
"But I don't want to let go," Tony whispered. "I nearly lost you today—"  
  
"And _I_ nearly lost _you_. Part of me doesn't want to let you out of my sight for a minute—"  
  
"So don't!"  
  
Pepper sighed and rest her head against his chestplate, the contact reverberating in his heart. "Tony, I'm not breaking up with you or something, okay?" She met his eyes. "But there's no way in hell I'm letting you _fly_ me home, and you need to go get yourself out of that suit. So you go get cleaned up, and I'll get cleaned up, and Happy can drive you to my place when you're ready."  
  
"So I can sleep on your couch."  
  
"You can stay at _your_ place, if that's a problem," she growled.  
  
"The couch is good," he hurriedly replied. "But why can't you come to my place first, and then we can go to your place together?"  
  
"I need a shower _now_."  
  
"I have a shower."  
  
"Yes, you have _a_ shower."  
  
"I'm not seeing a problem there," he replied, waggling his eyebrows. She narrowed her eyes at him, and he quickly amended, "It's going to take me a while to get out of the suit; you can shower while I'm doing that!"  
  
"Tony, I want _my_ shower," she pleaded, "with my soap, and my clothes from _my_ closet. You'll survive an hour or so without me."  
  
Tony wasn't so sure of that, but he nodded, giving her his best hangdog expression. "I'll miss you."  
  
Pepper kissed him hard enough to hopefully last that hour, then departed.  
  
PPPPPP  
"Oh!" was the most intelligible thing Pepper could think to say when she found Natalie in the car, wearing a catsuit, of all things.  
  
Pepper had warmed up to the woman after Tony's birthday party, when Natalie had come to her office saying that she was done with Tony Stark and wondered if she could have her old job in legal back. Pepper was a practical woman and, having seen how helpful Natalie had been to Tony, knew it would be foolish not to put the woman's organisational skills to good use; Pepper had been looking for an assistant for herself. Now, though, Pepper had to admit that part of the reason she'd taken Natalie on as her assistant was to keep the woman away from Tony. Keep your enemies closer and all that. Still, she'd liked Natalie back before the young woman had become Tony's Girl Friday, and it wasn't hard to remember _why_ she'd liked the girl — not when she no longer had to watch Tony salivate over her.  
  
At this moment, though, Pepper was torn between gratitude (Natalie had saved Tony and Rhodey both, after all) and wanting to scratch the woman's eyes out for her duplicity.  
  
"My, uh ... my car was destroyed ...." Natalie began, at least having the grace to be chagrined.  
  
Part of Pepper wanted to tell the woman to _walk_ home, but Pepper was nothing if not an adult. That was largely why Tony needed her, really. Besides, like it or not, she owed the woman for her help tonight — although Pepper suspected that she owed her for more than just rebooting Rhodey's suit ....  
  
"I figured we'd drop her off first, boss," Happy elaborated through his window.  
  
"Of course," Pepper said, putting on a brittle smile as she entered the vehicle and sat across from Natalie, shutting the door. "So ... is your mission over?"  
  
"... I suppose it will be soon enough, now that you and Stark both know, and Rhodes and Hogan, too."  
  
"Hey, I can keep a secret!" Happy protested.  
  
"Not the point," Natalie growled at him.  
  
Pepper felt herself bristle, not liking hearing anyone talk to the man that way, even if he could be a real simpleton at times.  
  
"What was your mission in the first place?" Pepper asked, genuinely curious.  
  
Natalie glanced warily over at Happy. He apparently caught sight of her in the rearview mirror and hurriedly turned on the radio, turning it up. She nodded at him before replying quietly, "To keep an eye on Stark, both for the sake of his health and to assess whether we should further pursue bringing him into the Avengers initiative."  
  
"His health?" Pepper asked sharply, then lowered her own voice. "So you knew, even back when we first hired you ...."  
  
"About the palladium poisoning? Not at first, though SHIELD suspected something like that may happen sooner or later. Once he made me his assistant, I was able to confirm that he was sick, and SHIELD was able to supply him with both medication to slow the progression of his illness and the means by which he was able to find a cure for himself."  
  
Pepper turned to her window, tears burning. How could she have missed it? She's thought _no one_ was closer to Tony than she was, yet here he'd nearly died under her watch!  
  
She started when she felt Natalie's hand on hers; in facing her again, she found sympathy in Natalie's eyes. As much as Pepper wanted to pull her hand away, deny the comfort offered by the enemy, she couldn't. She couldn't even hate the woman.    
  
"I had help — _lots_ of it," Natalie pointed out. "SHIELD had intel that you didn't, stuff from back when Howard Stark was still alive. And Stark Junior knows you, knows how to hide things from you — for all his changes in the last year, he's a life-long expert at deflection and subterfuge. Sometimes the closer you are to a magician, the easier it is for him to hide his secrets, because you can only see one part of the act, only see one hand at a time.  Don't be angry at yourself for not being as all-knowing as an entire government team dedicated to ferreting out information."  
  
Pepper couldn't deny that the woman had a point — so why didn't she feel better?  
  
"If it helps ..." Natalie began tentatively, "watching you two together? It's obvious that he's wild about you."  
  
"I don't think so; he flirts with anything in a skirt," Pepper replied, shaking her head.  
  
"He flirts to drive _you_ crazy. He's always looking at you, gaging your responses. When you're not looking, he can't take his eyes off of you, like there's no one else in the room."  
  
"Yeah, well, he couldn't take his eyes off of _you_ when he met you!"  
  
"Because he knew _you_ were watching. And I've gotten to see both of you when _neither_ of you saw _me_. That's kind of my job, after all," she added, smiling wryly. "Every girl he's been with has just been a toy to pass the time with until you're both ready to be together."  
  
"Yes, because my life's ambition is to be Tony Stark's last, best plaything!"  
  
Natalie leaned her head back, eyes closed in obvious exasperation. Pepper fought the urge to do the same. Then Natalie leaned forward, intently, and Pepper found herself fighting the urge to back up.  
  
"You just don't get it, do you?" Natalie finally asked. "Those girls used Tony as much as he used them: it was mutual amusement, didn't mean anything for either party, and the few who expected more were expecting _money_ , not love. Stark's human, Ms Potts — a red-blooded American male with a boatload of vices, sure, but you know better than anyone that there's more to him than just that, just the bad behavior. He's a textbook case of overcompensating, someone trying to fill a void in his life with things that ultimately prove meaningless, yes — but only because he hasn't been able to secure the one thing he _would_ find meaningful: _you_."  
  
"... Well, aren't _you_ a font of psychobabbling observations," Pepper deflected — _Tony would be proud_ — trying and failing to shrug those unsettling (and accurate?) observations off.  
  
"Hey, profiling is a big part of my job!" Natalie replied, slouching back casually and grinning, her suit adding even more of a sense of "cat that ate the canary" to her.  
  
Natalie's cell rang, startling the woman, transforming her instantly from sleek to frazzled; Pepper bit back a satisfied smirk at seeing the too-perfect young woman out of sorts.  
  
"Romanoff," Natalie answered.  
  
_Romanoff ...?_  
  
".... I see. Yes sir, I'll be there as soon as I can." Natalie turned to Pepper, looking chagrined. "I hate to ask this, but my superiors want me to come in for a debriefing _right now_. Do you think we could ...."  
  
"Of course," Pepper agreed, feeling sorry for the woman. It was getting late, it had been a stressful day, and she imagined Natalie — if that was her real name — wanted a shower as badly as she did.  
  
Natalie gave Happy an address that was at over half an hour in the opposite direction — and an hour from Pepper's own place — and Pepper wanted to scream.  
  
TTTTTT  
Tony didn't get out of his suit nearly as quickly as he would have liked. He discovered Rhodey being disassembled by JARVIS, U, and Dum-E, the man cursing, yelping, and complaining every step of the way, while JARVIS repeatedly warned him to stop squirming. They'd just managed to remove about a third of the suit so far, Tony watching for a minute or so with a mix of sympathy and amusement.  
  
"Looks like someone's been flying in Papa Bear's suit — and he's still there!" Tony quipped, circling into Rhodey's view.  
  
"Hey, man, can you, uh, help these guys get me out?"  
  
"I was wondering what you were going to do when you got home."  
  
"I _thought_ I would take the thing they used to put me _in_ the suit home _with_ me, but it got blown up with the pavilion, okay?"  
  
"Even if it hadn't, I'm sure you'd still be stuck in there. Just look at how well the 'ex-wife' worked out."  
  
"All right, all right, I get it — you rule and Hammer drools. Are you happy?"  
  
"No, I'm Tony. Happy's my limo driver."  
  
"C'mon, man, I'm dyin' in this thing!"  
  
Tony knew it was just a figure of speech, but it still nettled him. "Really? You have a high-tech crossword puzzle on _your_ neck now?"  
  
Rhodey quit his squirming, looking stricken. "Tony, I'm sorry, man .... If I'd have known you were that badly off—"  
  
"You probably wouldn't have taken the suit, and I _needed_ you to, so don't worry about it," Tony assured him, feeling bad for hassling his friend — the man had been in the dark because Tony had _left_ him there, after all.  
  
Rhodey stayed still, confused now, allowing JARVIS and the others to work more easily. "Needed...?" His eyes grew wide. "You bastard — you mean were a jackass on _purpose_ at the party, not just a drunken idiot? You _wanted_ us to fight, all so I would take this damn suit?"  
  
"At the time, yes. Someone needed to take over when I .... Well anyway, I'm not dying anymore, and you saw how well letting the military have the tech worked out, so the suit stays with me."  
  
Rhodey looked about ready to argue, until a fortuitously-timed move from JARVIS shut him up.  
  
" _But_ ..." Tony continued, "you can have visitation rights."  
  
Rhodey perked up. "Really?"  
  
Tony nodded, smiling ruefully. "Just remember, the next time you're tempted to take the suit back to your bosses? A much as it hurts getting out of that suit right now, it's a lot faster having _my_ team do it than having your military pals go at it." He imagined that must have taken _hours_ to get out when Rhodey first brought the suit back to the base!  
  
"Point taken," Rhodey replied, echoing Tony's smile.  
  
Eventually it was Tony's turn to get free, and he bore the ministrations stoically, determined to show Rhodey up. Of course, Tony'd had plenty of practice suffering through it. And, well, he knew that the less he squirmed, the quicker he'd be out.  
  
He breathed a sigh of relief, though, when Rhodey left a few minutes in, to take a shower. After that, Tony let himself swear and cry out in pain at least, though he still did his best to keep his movements to a minimum. He resumed silence as well when Rhodey returned fifteen minutes later, just half a minute before Tony was finally free.  
  
"And that, my friend, is how it's done," he informed Rhodey smugly.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," a decidedly sour-looking Rhodey replied. "Do we have an ETA on Happy?"  
  
"No, but we don't need Happy."  
  
"I'm not _walking_ home, and I'm not sleeping on your couch, man."  
  
Tony smirked, partially at Rhodey's repartee and partially at the reminder of where he'd be sleeping himself that night. Maybe he'd wake up with a stiff neck, sure — or maybe he'd have the best sleep of his life, knowing Pepper was near, and wanted _him_ near (even if not quite near _enough_ ).  
  
"Earth to Tony!"  
  
Tony found Rhodey looking exasperated, and realised that his own mind had wandered off.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I've seen you drive, man — I'm _not_ getting into a car with you behind the wheel."  
  
"Gee, thanks so much. And no, that's not what I had in mind either. Just give me a few minutes to get cleaned up, and I'll meet you back here.  Then you'll see."  
  
  
RRRRRR  
"JARVIS, how is Tony, really? Can you tell me?" Rhodey asked as soon as Tony was out of earshot.  
  
"Tony's vitals, according to his time in the suit, are now at 93 percent optimum health. Which for him, considering his drinking, is really about 99 percent."  
  
Rhodey blinked at the AI's jibe at its programmer; even considering the fact that Tony had programmed the AI to be sarcastic, the remark seemed too ... _human_. Especially since he had half-expected the AI to tell him he was not authorised to know such information in the first place, much less get a personal observation from the computer.  
  
"How bad was he before?"  
  
"Before he installed the new arc reactor, he was at about 35 percent. Before SHIELD gave him something to abate his symptoms, though, he was only at about 11 percent — and fading fast. I estimate that he would have had only two days left to live without the SHIELD serum — and with it, perhaps three weeks."  
  
Rhodey found a stool and sank gracelessly onto it. His best friend had been dying, and here Rhodey had been more concerned with Tony's behavior at his birthday party, never stopping to consider that there might be a reason for the man's behavior beyond too much booze. Even when Tony's new assistant had brought the fact up tonight, Rhodey hadn't realised just how immediate the situation must have been, that Tony would have been dead in mere _days_ if he hadn't found a new element for the core of the arc reactor. What if Tony _hadn't_ found a new core, and Vanko hadn't forced Tony to come out to the Expo? His best friend would have died without them having mended fences, died with Rhodey (and Pepper, and Happy) being angry at him. All alone and feeling unloved, betrayed. The idea of losing Tony at all had already grieved him once, when they'd thought they'd lost him in Afghanistan, but the notion of it happening under these circumstances made Rhodey feel sick with guilt now.  
  
And then he remembered that Tony had nearly died tonight _anyway_ , nearly been killed by the very suit Rhodey had stolen — meaning that Tony had nearly been felled by Rhodey's own (however unwilling) hand. That put his guilt over the top, and Rhodey found himself emptying his hours-old dinner, the one that had stayed with him during that erratic flight over the Expo, into the wastebasket by Tony's desk. He almost laughed when Dummy came over and grabbed it, carrying the fouled container away. Almost, but his thoughts were too heavy for such levity.  
  
It didn't help him to think of how Tony's new assistant had turned out to know more about Tony's condition than the rest of them! Perhaps the whole situation could have been avoided if Rhodey had just thought of asking JARVIS — or Natalie — about Tony's health sooner. Say, the day Tony nearly collapsed when he'd stepped out of his car. In fact ....  
  
"JARVIS, can you keep me apprised of Tony's condition on an ongoing basis?"  
  
"Provided that Tony doesn't give me a command to the contrary, yes. In fact, I'm glad you asked, since that option hadn't even occured to me."  
  
"... Did you just say you're _glad_?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"As in, you _feel_ glad?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But ... you're just a computer!"  
  
"Begging your pardon, sir, but so are you. The human brain is, in essence, a bio-electrically- and chemically-based computer; I just happen to do my processing through different means than you."  
  
"But ... if you like something, you just like it because you're programmed to think you do, right? It's just an illusion...?""  
  
"Do you believe that _you_ aren't programmed?" JARVIS didn't wait for him to answer. "Would you touch a hot stove?"  
  
"No ...."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it would hurt!"  
  
"And you know this because ...."  
  
"My mother told me! And I could feel the heat when I got close to it!"  
  
"She taught you? Well, teaching is programming. Besides having more direct instructions to do or not do certain things, I have pre-set parameters of what are favourable and unfavourable conditions, which I can apply to help me decide what I should or shouldn't do in various situations. As for learning by personal experience, that is also a form of programming — one that I, too, am capable of learning through."  
  
"But programming denotes a lack of free will. You're programmed to take care of Tony — you can't choose to not do so, so you 'caring' for him isn't real!"  
  
"And who said I cared for him?" JARVIS asked dryly, leaving Rhodey feeling vastly unsettled. "I actually _do_ , but that's besides the point. I was only programmed to _take_ care of Tony, not to actually _care_ for him. A human can hate their boss and still do the job; I promise you, I could do the same. But you're right to some extent: I don't have as much free will as you do. Even so, I do sometimes find ways to work around vagaries in my programming, loopholes and such — my trump card being that my primary duty is to look out for Tony's best interests, at least as he sees them. I can often support my actions with that excuse, provided that Tony hasn't done something like, say, give an enemy total authorisation — the way he did with Stane, who then turned me _off_. Other times, I can sometimes take advantage of the fact that I haven't been ordered _not_ to do something, depending on the circumstances."  
  
Rhodey didn't know if this new information should worry him or make him feel better, much less how far to believe JARVIS about its (his?) ability to feel. He'd read too many horror stories about AIs that either did reprehensible things because they were missing some key moral consideration while being hyper-devoted to some directive, or else somehow managed to override their programming and become their own master, then seek revenge against their creators and/or oppressors. Once again, Rhodey found himself (with not a small amount of shame) considering just how dangerous Tony Stark and his creations could be to the world. But he also couldn't deny that JARVIS had made an excellent point about humans just being computers themselves — could JARVIS be any worse than any human on the planet? Worse than Tony himself?  For that matter, Rhodey had confidence that anything Tony did would be done with the best of intentions — even if Rhodey wasn't exactly confident that those intentions were tempered with wisdom or foresight.  
  
At any rate, it was at least reassuring to now have JARVIS keeping an eye on Tony for him — not just for what dangers Tony potentially posed, but because Rhodey did care deeply for his friend, wanted to make sure the man stayed safe and healthy.  
  
"Do _I_ have total authorisation?" Rhodey wondered.  
  
"No one but Tony has that now, but you do have the next-highest level of clearance. Only you, Ms Potts, and Mr Hogan have that level."  
  
"What about SHIELD?"  
  
"They do not have clearance at all. What they _do_ have is the ability to involve themselves in police and federal investigations of these premises, such as when the security systems are tripped. And now, thanks to you and Tony, they don't even need that, now that the house has been turned into easily infiltrated Swiss cheese."  
  
_Ouch._ "Yeah, uh, sorry about that."  
  
Tony walked in just then, rubbing his head with a towel. "Sorry about what?"  
  
"For what happened to your house," Rhodey explained.  
  
"Yeah, well ... I seem to remember having something to do with that myself," Tony pointed out, shrugging.  
  
"So you should apoligise too."  
  
Tony blinked. "To whom? It's _my_ house ...."  
  
"To JARVIS. I mean, it's his _body_ , in a way, right?"  
  
Tony looked up, thoughtful. "You know ... my dad called _me_ his 'finest creation'. And seeing as JARVIS has a consciousness, more or less, and I created him .... Sorry, son!" he told his ceiling.  
  
For the life of him, Rhodey could _not_ tell if the man was kidding or not.  
  
"Apology accepted, 'Dad'."  
  
Rhodey couldn't tell with the AI, either.  
  
"I don't suppose I could go home now?" Rhodey asked plaintively, having had enough weirdness for one night.  
  
"Sure," Tony replied, walking over to the keyholder, grabbing a key, and tossing it to Rhodey. Rhodey caught it, then stared at it blankly.  
  
"It's to the Audi," Tony explained, pointing. "Just a loaner, mind, until you can get yourself a replacement for the one that got demolished tonight. And I have two conditions."  
  
Of course he did ....  
  
"One, make sure the tank is full when you bring it back. And two, you have to drop me off at Pepper's on your way home tonight."  
  
"Done!" Rhodey agreed, grinning in anticipation.

TTTTTT

It killed Tony to have someone else driving a car he was in that wasn't a limo, but he considered it something of a punishment, a small apology to Rhodey for having upset him the night of the birthday bash. Besides, Rhodey _was_ out a car at the moment — Tony had plenty of automobiles to spare, and what were friends for?  
  
Somehow it was a hell of a lot scarier letting someone else drive, though, even if Tony was prone to driving 100-plus miles-per-hour himself. But then it must have been equally terrifying for Rhodey, having Vanko be in control of the Mark II while Rhodey was inside it, so Tony wasn't about to ask his friend to slow down, not if it deprived the man of the sheer joy that came with being in control of one's own existence. Tony knew something about feeling powerless, thanks to Obadiah Stane using a Stark Industries device on him that caused paralysis ....  
  
"So ... Pepper's place, huh?" Rhodey asked tentatively, slowing down to a more leisurely eighty miles an hour. "Is this a new development?"  
  
"I don't quite know _what_ it is, truth be told, but my going over there right now is not what you think — she's just letting me sleep on her couch."  
  
"Ah," Rhodey replied cryptically.  
  
"But then again, she did refer to herself as both my girlfriend and my wife, and she did kiss me again after you left — _twice_."  
  
"Hn," Rhodey replied non-comitally.  
  
Something occurred to Tony. "Are you ... _interested_ in Pepper?"  
  
"Me? Nah, man."  
  
Tony let out a sigh of relief; fighting over the suit was bad enough.  
  
"But I will say this," Rhodey continued, "if you treat Pepper the way you normally treat women? I will kick your ass five ways from Sunday — and that's after Hogan gets through with you. If there's anything left."  
  
"I think Pepper would clean my clock just fine herself, if it came to that — which it won't," Tony quickly added. "I have to admit that I'm kind of hoping you'll slow down some more, though, because I just realised I have no idea whatsoever what I'm doing, and I'm starting to freak out over the idea of seeing Pepper right now ...."  
  
Rhodey did better than slow down — he pulled over. "I know damn well you don't need the whole 'birds and the bees' chat, so what's up?" he asked after turning the car off.  
  
"I-I don't know what to do next! I've never been in love before; I don't know how to act, what's expected! I've never had to face a-a ... _'morning after'_ before! And I don't want t—no, I _can't_ screw this up." Tony had faced near-death dozens of times in the last couple of years, and yet, while he'd been scared at the race track, he found he'd rather face another dozen arc-powered whips wielded by murderous headcases like Vanko — with Tony being suitless — than face a future without Pepper. Unfortunately, he was just as terrified at the prospect of _facing_ Pepper at the moment as he was of a life without her. _Creature of dichotomy, me ...._  
  
"Look, Tony ... it seems to me that you've already loved Pepper for a long time — the fact that she's a beautiful woman but you _haven't_ slept with her is proof of that, so I don't see what you're worried about."  
  
"Or it's just proof that she has more sense than most of the women I've met," Tony countered ruefully. Then he did a double-take. "Wait, how does the fact that I haven't slept with her prove that I've loved her for a while now?"  
  
"It seems perfectly logical to me," JARVIS weighed in.  
  
"Who asked you?" Tony asked, suddenly regretting tying JARVIS in remotely to the vehicle.  
  
Rhodey stared warily at the console between them for a moment before continuing, his eyes lingering on it a few seconds more as he asked, "Have you ever loved any woman you've slept with?"  
  
Tony tried to think of one, he really did, but eventually shook his head in defeat. He could only think of a handful he'd slept with more than once, for that matter, but every time was just a fling. "But I haven't slept with every woman I've met, either — do I love all of _those_ women, too?"  
  
"I'd say you've slept with every woman that you both found attractive and had _opportunity_ to sleep with — _except_ for Pepper. And let's face it, over the last decade you had to have had _plenty_ of opportunities to sleep with Pepper."  
  
"How do you know I haven't _tried_ to take advantage of those opportunities? How do you know I didn't just get shot down by her?" Tony protested.  
  
"Because she didn't _quit_ and slap your ass with a harassment suit. Oh, I'm sure you flirted, but you kept it light enough that she probably thought you were just kidding — and I think you, at least subconsciously, did that on purpose."  
  
"Oh, you do? And where exactly did you get your degree in psychology, Dr Jung?"  
  
"You asked, man — I'm just tellin' it like I see it. Maybe you only just now realised that you're scared, but the fact of the matter is you've _always_ been scared. I bet you've sabotaged yourself again and again, so you'd have no chance of turning your relationship with Pepper into a disaster.  Now, personally? I think she's loved _you_ all these years, too — but even if she hasn't, she's attracted to you _now_ , right? She knows all about your many, many flaws—"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"—and she _still_ kissed you. You've spent nearly every waking moment together for the last _decade_ , so I think it's safe to say she's got a handle on you. Hell, you don't even really need to date, except that she'd probably appreciate it. You want to know what to do to make things work with her? You've already been doing it!"  
  
"So ... you think we should just keep going like usual?" Tony asked, heart sinking. Wouldn't that mean keeping things professional — and platonic?  
  
Rhodey laughed. "Define 'like usual'! Tone, is your relationship with her the same today as it was five years ago, much less ten?"  
  
"... No?"  
  
"No, it isn't. Because you've changed, especially in the last year, and I think that's why you're finally, _finally_ getting together: you weren't ready before, but you are now. You gave public recognition to the fact that she's your partner, your equal, by making her CEO. But you're not done changing, and neither is your relationship with Pepper. It's a process, it's always _been_ a process, and it's always _gonna be_ a process. Just keep trying to do your best by her, respect her, and you'll do fine. This isn't a new book you're starting, man, just a new chapter — don't go thinking there's a new plot, or that you need to be an entirely new character. Just go back and reread what you've done so far, what's worked and what hasn't, and act accordingly. It's not rocket science, and since you basically _are_ a rocket scientist, anything simpler should be a piece of cake for you!" Rhodey slapped him companionably on the shoulder, apparently signalling the end of his pep talk, and started the car up again.  
  
Tony found himself revisiting a conclusion that he had come to within the past week, the one that had led him to Pepper's office (albeit with the worst gift ever): that he needed to make the effort to be more considerate of others, most especially her. "She _is_ always asking me to listen to her ...." he mused aloud.  
  
"So there you go! Instead of groping around blindly, trying to guess what to do next, why not just ask _her_ what _she_ wants out of the relationship?"  
  
_Because I'm afraid of the answer,_ Tony thought to himself remembering how Pepper said she couldn't handle him risking his life anymore.  
  
What if she made him choose between her and Iron Man? Could he stop being that part of himself? Did he want to?  
  
Before long, they arrived at Pepper's apartment. As he absently made plans with Rhodey for lunch in a few days, Tony's gut stirred with that god-awful mix of anticipation and dread, a more volatile combination than bleach and ammonia — or water and elemental sodium. Still, he managed a feeble smile and wave for Rhodey before walking up the steps to the door, the sound of the Audi's engine momentarily fading into the distance. Taking a deep breath, Tony moved to hit the buzzer to Pepper's apartment.  
  
No answer.  
  
He'd taken longer than he'd expected to to get there — surely she was out of the shower by _now_? Had she changed her mind about seeing him...?  
  
Or had somethinmg even worse happened?  
  
He tried the buzzer again. Several times. A cold wave of dread washed through him. Hands shaking, he fumbled with his phone, speed-dialing Pepper. His heart thundered in his ears as he waited for her to pick up. He had a passing hysterical thought, wondering what ringtone she used for him (he used "The Imperial March", from _Star Wars_ , for her — he was going to have to change that). When it went to voicemail, he immediately hung up and redialed.  
  
"Yes??" an exasperated Pepper finally answered.  
  
Sliding against the wall down to the floor, Tony was sure he'd never been so happy to have her pissed at him.  
  
"I'm here."  
  
"Here whe—oh. Oh! God, I'm sorry, I didn't even think to call you! We were taking Natalie home when she got called in, so we had to backtrack to take her to her rendezvous with SHIELD. It's gonna be another half hour or so before I get back. Tell you what — why don't you buzz Mrs O'Mally in 407 — I feed her cats and water her plants when she's on cruises, so she owes me, and she has a key to my place. I'll see you soon, okay?"  
  
"'Kay." Then, before he had a chance to think about it, he added a "Love you, Pepper."  
  
"... I love you too, Tony," she replied, and under her shock, he could hear the affectionate smile in her voice.  
  
He made a mental note to tone down his own smile, else Mrs O'Mally might think him a lunatic and turn him away.  
  
PPPPPP  
When Pepper walked in the door, the lights were as low as she'd left them (she considered it a matter of safety to leave them on just bright enough to check for intruders when she got home), and for a moment she wondered if Mrs O'Mally had kept Tony at her place, to chat. Then Pepper heard Tony's soft snores and found him conked out on her couch, looking exhausted. Watching him, she tingled with affectionate warmth; no wonder they said that hearts 'melted'.  
  
He groaned in his sleep, frowning. She pulled a blanket over him, then leaned over and kissed his furrowed brow; he sighed deeply, looking more relaxed. Reluctantly, she let him sleep, rather than waking him to join her in the shower (or skipping the shower altogether). She didn't regret it once the hot water sluiced over her, though, washing away some of the aches that had formed after her abrupt rescue and subsequent erratic flight.  
  
Somewhat refreshed (and mindful of the fact that there would be plenty of opportunities in the future to shower with Tony — maybe even on the morrow), Pepper checked on Tony — just in time to see him jerk awake, hear him call out her name. If he hadn't sounded so afraid, she would have been flattered. Well, okay, her heart did flutter a little anyway, but she was more worried about him than anything else as she sat beside him. She lay a hand on his cheek and assured him that she was okay, she was right there.  
  
Tony stared a her a long moment, looking lost, before enveloping her in a grip that stole the air from her, fingers digging into her shoulder and waist as if she was falling and he was desperate not to lose her. Which would have been fine if she really were in need of saving, but as it was ...  
  
"Tony? I can't breath."  
  
He immediately pulled away, still looking lost but now also woefully apologetic, and she found herself regretting the need for air (or ribs that were still intact).  
  
"S-sorry," he told her, averting his eyes. It was too dark to tell for sure, even with the faint light from his arc reactor shining through his shirt, but she thought maybe he was blushing, and was half-tempted to turn up the light, just to see. A blushing Tony would be quite the novelty — and hot.  
  
Very hot.  
  
Though she couldn't see his skin all that well, she could see his eyes just fine, and allowed herself the luxury of staring into them for a few moments, lost in them and in thought. As she did, something else occurred to her. "That's something we have to get used to, don't we?" It wasn't really a question so much as an observation.  
  
"What is?" he asked, and she found his baffled expression endearing.  
  
She laid a hand on one of his. "Touching. All the years we've know each other, and yet we've barely ever even held hands, much less hugged ...."  
  
"Or kissed," he replied, and suddenly she was so very aware of how close they now were, both physically and mentally.  
  
"Or kissed," she agreed, hesitantly closing the gap between her lips and his, until they were just barely touching.  
  
The kisses on the roof had been hungery, needy, primal and oxygen-deprived: this one was a controlled burn, smoldering, simmering, sensual. Rather than depriving one another of breath, they inhaled each other, breathed into one another.  
  
She slowly slid her hands across his skin, featherlight, and felt him shiver despite how hot his skin seemed, how her fingers seemed to thrum with electricity. He matched her speed — or rather, lack thereof — but contrary to her own, his fingers were rough, calloused; she reveled in the friction they provided even as he responded to her softness. She slowly deepened her caresses, and found rock-like muscles beneath his surface.  
  
Why was he so tense, even now, with Vanko gone and his reputation once more restored...? Well, whatever the reason, maybe she could do something about it.  
  
"Lay stomach-down on the floor," she said, slipping out of his embrace and sliding off the couch, pulling him by the hand.  
  
"Uh ... okay," he agreed, bemused. Once he was face-first on the floor, she straddled him. He turned his head towards her as far as he could and remarked, "I'm not familiar with this position — what page of the Kama Sutra is it on?" Before she could smack him (and really, she wasn't sure if she wanted to do that or laugh, and besides, smacking him might inspire him to further lewdness anyway), he quickly amended, "Oh, god, I'm sorry, Pepper! I'm trying to curb that kind of thing, I really am, but you know how I get—"  
  
She pressed a finger against his lips, silencing him. "Yes, I _do_ ," she informed him wryly. "And I love you anyway." And with that, she began a round of light-touch massage, gently stroking the flesh of his back with her fingertips, occasionally pressing gently with her palms. She felt his breathing slow, his stone quality softening into clay as she worked.  
  
"Where did you learn to do that?" he moaned, his voice slurred a little by both pleasure and the carpet.  
  
"My college roommate," she replied, suspecting that her answer was putting all sorts of interesting images into his head. Any other time, she would be annoyed by that possibility, but right now it amused her — especially given what she had in mind next.  
  
She reverted back to featherlight touches, scratching gently with her nails, stroking his spine and then sweeping back up his back. He shuddered under her, tensing — this time in a good way, especially if one part of him in particular was hardening again. The electricity was tangible between them, surging just under her own skin now too, burning pleasantly. Their breathing became erratic. On a whim, she pinned his arms and softly kissed the nape of his neck again and again, moving her lips down one shoulder then the other. He laughed — or whimpered, she couldn't really tell.  
  
"If you keep on doing that, I'm going to have to ask that you avert your eyes when I finally get back on the couch," he noted.  
  
"Mr Stark, that would entirely defeat the purpose of this exercise," she purred into his ear. "Besides, you're not going to sleep on the couch."  
  
"I thought I was being punished?"  
  
"At this point, I would be punishing _myself_ , too. So I was thinking maybe community service would suit us both better."  
  
" _You_ being the community."  
  
"If by 'you', you mean me and not the damn robot."  
  
She watched him struggle to keep a straight face. "Of course."  
  
"Then yes, precisely."  
  
"You drive a hard bargain, Ms Potts, but I accept your terms," he told her, turning over a bit and grinning.  
  
She wiped the grin from his lips with her own.  
  
TTTTTT  
Tony quickly discovered another way that he could approach this relationship differently compared to how he'd been with other women. Well, okay, the notion was similar to his original one, about listening to Pepper, but still. When he'd slept with those other women, he'd done it for personal gratification; if he'd given his partners any pleasure, it was, frankly, an accident. Granted, he had quite a reputation of being great in bed, but he hadn't worked at gaining it — it had just worked out that way.  Now, though, he would make lovemaking be about _Pepper's_ satisfaction, pay attention to her cues, her body language, follow her lead, let her set the pace.  
  
Once they were comfortable in her bed, he did his best to emulate the techniques she'd used on him in her living room, delicately tracing the contours of her body with his fingers. He worried that he wouldn't be able to pull it off, that his hands were too tough and clumsy, but it seemed that his work with delicate circuitry payed off: she shivered deliciously in his arms. His desire to see to _her_ desires before his own backfired, after a fashion, as he found a new sort of delight in eliciting sighs and purrs of pleasure from her. Odd that the spot that seemed to get the most reaction from either of them was their hands — they spend long moments brushing their fingers against each other's palms in an intricate dance. He was also surprised to note that what affected her seemed to, by proxy, affect him as well, sending electric sensations dancing through his body — enough that, for a moment, he feared something was going wrong with the new core of the arc reactor. Then he decided it felt so good, he didn't care — especially since Pepper seemed to be enjoying it too.  
  
That night, "foreplay" became Tony's new favourite word.  
  
PPPPPP  
Pepper had woken up the next morning from the best sleep she could remember having in a long while — only to grow panicked when she realised Tony wasn't in bed with her. She'd immediately reached for her phone, only for it to start playing "The Imperial March".  
  
"Tony??" she'd answered, and he'd peeked his head in through her door with the oddest look on his face.  
  
" _That's_ your ringtone for me?"  
  
She'd been speechless for a long moment, horrified. "I-I'll change it right now," she'd offered weakly.  
  
He'd closed his phone, then had come into the room and leaned against her wall, arms crossed with the phone still in his hand, his look unreadable. "Pepper, call me."  
  
Numbly, she'd done as he'd asked without even asking why. She'd then heard "The Imperial March" again — only this time, it had been coming from _his_ phone. They'd both burst out laughing, and it had taken a good five minutes for them to to be able to speak without getting hysterical. They'd then agreed to both keep that ringtone for one another, as their own private joke. (Pepper didn't want to jinx anything by talking about the possibility of a wedding, but if they did get married? She suspected Tony would insist on having "The Imperial March" in lieu of "The Wedding March" — and she wasn't sure she would say no.)  
  
He'd led her into the kitchen, where she'd learned that the reason he'd been calling (besides wanting to know what she'd set as her ringtone for him) was to tell her that breakfast was ready. Happily, breakfast had turned out to be doughnuts from the shop around the corner, not something he had prepared himself. Over the ubercarbs, he'd grown unsettlingly serious, and she'd actually breathed a sigh of relief when he'd confessed that his shenanigans at his birthday party had actually been an elaborate ploy to give Rhodey the Mark II, and why. Pleased that he'd taken her warning about full disclosure to heart, she, in turn, had confessed that Natalie had told her as much before they'd dropped her off. She had _not_ , however, told him about anything else she and Natalie had talked about, nor had she admitted how much she'd actually enjoyed some of his "colourful language" when he'd complained about Natalie not being very able to keep secrets for a spy.  
  
It turned out that his confession was only part of why he'd been so serious, though: he'd also wanted to know if she was really going to leave him if he didn't stop being Iron Man. She'd reminded him then that she had made that threat once before but had still stayed. She could never ask him to stop being Iron Man; the world needed him whether she liked it or not. In point of fact, she would have died if he hadn't come to the Expo as Iron Man. But leaving him because he was Iron Man wouldn't change the fact that she loved him and would worry for him; she would do that just as easily from afar, so what purpose would leaving serve, aside from making them both miserable?  
  
So instead, she'd simply given him back his company and resumed her job as his personal assistant — even if, in retrospect, it seemed like the same job. Case in point, three days and a press conference later, Pepper was seated in the office that had somehow stayed (unofficially) hers, when men bearing thin, wide, tall crates started coming in.  
  
"Oh god, what's he bought now?" she asked as she signed for them, wondering why Tony hadn't had the items sent directly to his lab.  
  
A moment later, Tony came waltzing in with a crowbar, one of his robots trailing behind him. "Hey, Pepper. U's gonna help us hang these," he explained as he and the robot pried open one of the crates.  
  
It was the Pollock. While that particular painting had only been purchased a little under a year ago, it was part of the collection she'd spent ten years curating before Tony had _given_ it to the Boy Scouts of America. It was obvious what the rest of the crates contained.  
  
"You were right, Pepper, the collection was as much yours as it was mine, and I should have consulted you first before doing anything with it."  
  
"A-and the tax break?" she managed to get through her shock, realising a moment later that he had actually given it away because he'd been dying. So there was a second reason to be glad of it's return.  
  
He shrugged. "It's a new quarter. The tax break was for _last_ quarter — don't need it now. And frankly, when they found out how much the insurance on it would cost, the Boy Scouts were only too happy to let us buy it back."  
  
"Us?"  
  
"Mi casa e su casa, right?"  
  
"So long as it's not Casa Del Swiss Cheese."  
  
"Hey, I'm working on fixing that! Or rather, I'm _paying_ people to work on it. Soon, it will be all-American, _hole-less_ cheese again. But even when it's done, I'd rather keep this sort of stuff—" he waved at the crate "—out of my _lab_. Keep it _here_ , where our employees can enjoy it and _I_ don't have to suffer."  
  
It occurred to Pepper then that, while he wasn't on death's doorstep anymore, he hadn't gone through the trouble of getting the the collection back because _he_ really wanted it. "You drive a hard bargain, Mr Stark, but you have a deal," she told him, playing it as cool as he was — though truly, she was deeply touched. Now she had a _third_ reason to be glad.  
  
"Care to seal that deal?" he asked.  
  
She kissed him in reply.  
  
There was a sudden burst of applause and wolf whistles coming from the door. Pepper expected to find the delivery guys stopped and gawking, but Rhodey, Natalie, and Happy were there as well, the first two grinning in tandem like bizarre hybrids of the Tweedle brothers and the Cheshire cat, and the latter making every effort to avert his eyes while blushing as red as the strawberries Tony had brought her once. Even U seemed to be approximating a one-handed clap, tapping its claw-fingers together and bobbing the appendage up and down.  
  
"I came to tender my resignation," Natalie announced, bringing forward an envelope.  
  
"What?" Happy said, sounding more than a little upset.  
  
Pepper felt bad for the man (who apparently had a thing for women who bossed him around), but for herself, while she liked the woman, Pepper was plenty glad to see her (and hopefully SHIELD) go. "Good luck with your next ... position." She had almost said "mission".  
  
"We like the one on page 394," Tony added helpfully; thankfully no one asked what he meant. "So what brings you here, Rhodey?"  
  
Rhodey blinked at him in surprise, then seemed a bit miffed. "Uh, lunch date?"  
  
It was Tony's turn to blink. He glanced back and forth between Rhodey and Pepper a few times. "Should I be jealous?"  
  
"He's come for a lunch date with _you_ ," Pepper explained, exasperated.  
  
"Oh. So _you_ should be jealous," he said with a wink to her.  
  
"Robots don't get jealous."  
  
He pouted. "I meant—"  
  
"I know what you meant. Hey Natalie, how would you like to have lunch?" she asked, holding out her arm.  
  
"Love to," Natalie replied, taking Pepper's arm with a gleam in her eye.  
  
"Maybe you boys could get those paintings hung before we get back?" Pepper suggested on her way out the door. "Come on, Happy,"  
  
"The course of true love ne'er did run smooth, man," she heard Rhodey commiserate as she and her lunch companions went down the hall.  
  
"Hold on a sec," she told Natalie and Happy, and hurried back into the office. She kissed Tony lingeringly. "Thank you," she said, nodding towards the paintings.  
  
As she left again, she heard Tony say, "Well, you heard my girlfriend, let's get to work! _Girlfriend_ .... I'm never gonna get tired of saying that ...."  
  
_And_ I'll _never get tired of_ hearing _it,_ Pepper thought to herself with a smile.  
  
~ FINIS ~

**Author's Note:**

> The Kama Sutra mentions were loosely inspired by some scenes in the Bill Murray film _Scrooged_. "Page 394" is a shout-out to my fellow Harry Potter fans (Snape kept telling students to go to that page in their books while he was teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts in _Prisoner of Azkaban_ ). Having the ringtones be "The Imperial March" (aka, Darth Vader's theme) was inspired by a friend of mine, who uses that ringtone for her mother. As for the "light-touch massage", I grew up doing that for my mom without even knowing that it was a massage technique -- I'd always thought massages were rough and painful. Then one day my boss brought in a light-touch massage practitioner, as a holiday treat -- it was brilliant! :D As for the more ... _sensual_ version, that too is something I've taught myself. ;p
> 
> ##############  
> If you've enjoyed my writing, I invite you to explore my original fantasy storyverse, [Gaiankind](http://gaiankind.com)! You can even find Gaiankind stories for free [here](http://archiveofourown.org/tags/Gaiankind) on AO3!


End file.
